"It's like a barbeque in my mouth!"

So said Alex, referring to a particularly amazing chorizo (sausage) that we ordered in Tigre, which is a suburb of Buenos Aires. The amount of beef we've consumed on a daily basis has been truly out of control.

I'm writing this update from a horribly slow computer at the hostel in Montevideo, Uruguay. This hostel is fine, but I'm not running back to it. We're in our first 8-bed room, and all of the beds appeared to be occupied by a variety of vagrants and sketchy miscreants, including some Japanese-Brazilian hybrid that does nothing but stare at the television and talk to some bald dude who's way too old to be here. It's all the stranger because they insist on sharing (in an otherwise empty lobby) a loveseat meant for either two very skinny people or one very fat person, and the hybrid is sitting with his legs crossed and his back against the arm of the seat, facing the old man, who is positioned normally on the seat but is what Seinfeld would call a "close talker". It's all rather ambiguous.

We were in Colonia, Uruguay yesterday and today. I really love that town. The history, the buildings, the streets, the food, everything about it. Our hostel was really nice, with actually hot water (!), and we met a bunch of cool people there. There was a fourth guy in our room named Michael from South Africa. He's white, and felt compelled to explain to us all the reasons he wasn't racist (including some horrifically graphic, actually very disturbing anecdotes about some of the more severe violence in Johannesburg). We met Aliana, who was kind of cute and fun, but more crazy and even more spoiled. The girl has lived in Mexico City, Buenos Aires, Boston, Austin, Houston, and elsewhere, all within the last like two years. We also met Chris (female), who is quiet, tall, Belgian, and almost definitely lesbian.

In Colonia, we had our best meal of the trip so far at a restaurant called El Porton. For the equivalent of $12, I ordered Lomo de Champaignon, which was essentially two rare 10 oz beef tenderloins covered in a champagne-based sauce. It was so good, we had to go back today for lunch so that Dylan and Alex could order the same thing. It was so good, I had to order it again too.

We also went to the casino in town last night, which was obviously deserted due to it being Monday night in the lowest of the low season. However, with a crew of 7 hostelers at my back, I sat down at the roulette table (after losing $70 at blackjack), and proceeded to win back all my money and then some - in front of a live audience! Those who know me know that I thrive in such situations (that one's for you, Chrissy). It was an absolute blast.

Before lunch today, however, we talked with Aliana and Chris and decided we wanted to check out the northern part of town - basically, the entire beachfront. To do this, we rented one golf cart and one dune buggy. One of those vehicles was really fun to drive around town. One of them was not. I don't believe the golf cart broke 13 mph, while the dune buggy was easily getting up to 35-40, which, on these roads and in that vehicle, which had dangerously little in the way of protective equipment, and especially compared to the golf cart, felt like a goddamned Ferrari. It was a little foggy out today (Dylan was concerned that the fog might obscure his vision and cause him to careen into the ocean), but we got the idea and really, the driving was the fun part anyway.

I seriously want a vacation home in Colonia some day. Or at the very least, I want to stay at the Sheraton situated on this perfect little extension of beachfront all the way at the end of town.

I'm missing a couple of decent little stories from our last day in BA and then Tigre. I may or may not write about them myself. In the event that I don't, I encourage anyone reading this to check out Dylan's account of those at his blog.

Finally, they use different electrical outlet configurations in this country than in Argentina. As a result, my phone is dead. Anyone who has tried to call me or text me since Saturday, nothing personal. I'll recharge in BA on Thursday. I get free incoming calls from the states! Just dial 011-54-9-11-5651-3785.